Stop to smell the flowers...

In thinking back, I feel I never got to "truly" enjoy my 2 children when they were very small. I had them young, went through some very personal and painful things and was trying so hard to find myself. I feel that though I was always present, I missed them along the way. It's been years now, but I really try to make a concious effort to stop with them and smell the flowers along the way. To make sure we spend "quality" time together. Now that I am older and "wiser", I see a lot of people "missing" their children. They are busy on their cell phones, absent from their children, ignoring them and yelling at their children because they are not paying attention and the child has said Mommy or Daddy 20 or so times before Mom or Dad finally says "WHAT!?!?" By then it's too late... the moment is lost.

I notice things much differently as I get older. My Mother and Father feel I should be in a place where I am waiting for my kids to grow up and move out of the house as they did. I do not want that, I want to savour the time we have left which is not very long in the grand scheme of things. I want the days to move slower, in fact I want those days back. I want my little kids back. I enjoy my children.

As hard as this is for people to hear, in my opinion infertility makes people appreciate their children more. Being a 2x surrogate and egg donor and being around many infertility circles, I know this to be true. People popping out children every time they look at their partner just add another oopsie to their brood, they just don't get it. They are the ones I see with 3 or 4 kids in tow talking on their cell phones at the park while the kid is yelling...."mom...mom...look at me mom...mooooooom....look at meeeeeeeeeee...mom?" It is sad. I wonder if anyone else has noticed this. Hell yes, at least they are at the park... ok. Yes, you took them outside.. but for god sake interact with them! P-L-A-Y with them! These years go by much to quickly and pretty soon they'll be asking you to drive them to work or for the keys to the car and if they can go to a movie with their friends and not with you anymore.

I know this time around I will be a different sort of parent. Live and learn so they say and it is so very true. My children now benefit from my knowledge and my future child(ren) will have a much different life than a lot of kids out there. We will interact with them, show them the world and PLAY with them. We do not wait for them to grow up and move away, we savour every day that we have with them. We enjoy every moment.

We will stop to smell the flowers...